Introducing Passport 2 Purity
About the Guest
All this week, join us as we roll out the red carpet for the release of the all new Passport2Purity, a resource that will help you guide your son or daughter through the challenges of puberty. Since its inception 14 years ago, parents have been using this tool to fashion a memorable get-away weekend for their pre-teens, and now we've made it even better. One young woman tells how her P2P weekend over 10 years ago is still impacting her today.
Barbara RaineyAfter graduating from the University of Arkansas with a Bachelor of Arts degree in history, Barbara joined the staff of Cru® in 1971. With her husband Dennis, whom she married in 1972, the Rainey’s cofounded FamilyLife®, a ministry committed to helping marriages and families survive and thrive in our generation. Barbara is a frequent speaker and guest on FamilyLife Today®, FamilyLife’s award-winning nationally-syndicated daily radio broadcast. She is the author or coauthor of...more
Dennis RaineyDennis Rainey cofounded FamilyLife®, a ministry of Cru®. Since the organization began in 1976 through 2017, Dennis’ leadership enabled FamilyLife to grow into a dynamic and vital ministry in more than 109 countries around the world helping families discover the joy God intended for their relationships with God, spouse, and kids. Dennis has authored or co-authored more than 35 books, including best-selling Moments Together for Couples and Staying Close and has received two Golden Medallion...more
One young woman tells how her P2P weekend over 10 years ago is still impacting her today.
Introducing Passport 2 Purity
Bob: You know you need to be talking with your pre-teen son or daughter about purity; right? Maybe you’ve even heard about the Passport2Purity weekend idea. You’ve thought about that, but you’re just not sure what to expect. Here’s a preview from Dennis Rainey.
Dennis: There are going to be interviews with older teenagers—
Woman speaking: “What are some of the challenges that you guys have faced during your teen years? [Pause] No challenges? Life’s been a breeze? That’s encouraging!” [Laughter]
Girl: “It’s been perfect; you know? No problems at all!”
Girl 2: “It isn’t me we’re talking about!”
Dennis: We’re going to laugh at some fun stories. [Crazy sounds] There are going to be object lessons.
Dennis: “How many of you believe me when I tell you that what’s in this sack is dangerous?”
You know what? There is more than likely going to be a surprise or two!
Young girl: “He just taped a package to the bottom of the kids’ tube slide. What if it is a bomb?!”
Narrator: “Sweat Glands, do you copy?! Sweat, do you copy?! Sweat Glands! Sweat Glands, come in!”
Young girl: “It’s not embarrassing enough to be standing in front of a bunch of—oh my word! There’s Todd!”
Mom: “Todd! Who’s Todd?”
Young girl: “As in Todd Jones, from school!”
Young girl: “So—Quick! Hide! Get down, Mom! Right here behind the—!” [Falling noises]
Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, May 14th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We’re going to talk today about what moms and dads can do to help impress in the hearts and minds of sons and daughters the whole idea of purity and what the Bible has to say about that. Stay tuned.
And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. You know, I don’t know how many folks even stop and think about this kind of thing; but typically, when a book comes out or some new resource comes out, people will order it, and then after a while it kind of fades.
Fourteen years ago, we created a resource called Passport to Purity®. Last year we had more Passport to Purity kits in use than the year before. The year before, we had more than the year before. This is a resource that, over the last 14 years—it has just been amazing how parents have embraced it and put it to use—and the kind of feedback we’ve been getting.
Dennis: It has been, Bob, as you know—for 11 years, I taught a sixth grade Sunday school class of 11- and 12-year-olds and had over 550 young people go through my class. In the process of teaching that class, I developed a number of talks—a number of issues to discuss with a pre-teen during this unique window before the hormones hit and before the static is on the line. Before they hit—not to mix too many metaphors here—but before the rapids of the adolescent years begin and you’re kind of fighting for your life and fighting for your teenager.
Instead, to just take a truckload of truth into your son or daughter’s life and make a memory over a Friday night/Saturday with that child that you’ll never forget and he or she will never forget.
Mom: “The night before we were getting ready to leave, he was thinking, ‘Oh no, we’re going to this wonderful place, but yet I’m going to have to do all of this work. There are journals and stuff to write and stuff to listen to. He was really unhappy because he thought it was not going to be any fun. But, of course, he thought wrong. He really had a good time, and so did I.”
Dad: “We went up to Wisconsin Dells, which is an amusement park in the Wisconsin area—a little bit north of Chicago. We stayed at a hotel, right by the amusement park. We listened on the way up to Wisconsin Dells; and then for a fun time, we went go-carting during the afternoon. Just overall—had a really good time!”
Dennis: Frankly, Bob, it’s going to equip both the parent and the child because they’re going to start a dialogue that continues all the way through adolescence, as a result of this weekend.
Bob: Well, if you have children who are right there in that pre-adolescent stage, or if you’ve got younger children who aren’t there yet but you’re already starting to think about what life is going to be like as you get there, or if you’re a grandparent and you’ve got grandchildren who are headed in that direction—what we’re going to try to do today is give you a picture of what the Passport2Purity experience—the weekend—whether you do it over a weekend or do it over a couple of weekdays—what this experience with your son or your daughter ought to look like. What is the overall goal? What is it that we’re aiming for with the Passport2Purity material?
Dennis: Well, we just want to give parents and their son or daughter just a great experience together—a fun, informative, and, at the same time, life-altering time together to talk about some of the most important issues—some of the most intimate issues—that these young people are going to face. We’re going to try to do that, Bob, in an entertaining way that keeps it fresh and exciting for the young person but also gives you, as a parent, a chance to hit a homerun with your child.
Dennis: “What was the highlight of the entire weekend that you had with your son?”
Dad: “Well, I think that it was just the fact that we got together and we were able to share things. The culmination, I guess, was that dinner that’s suggested in the kit. We sat down and talked about the whole weekend and the fun that we’d had together. We took enough time to play golf and to do some other fun things on the island there. Then, just to tell him, ‘Mom and I are just really proud of you. We just really think that this is going to be an exciting adventure for you from now on. We want you to know that we’re right there with you. I want to present you with this watch and, of course, your passport.’ He just loved the watch. He just thought that was the greatest thing.”
Bob: Give us an overview. You mentioned some of the topics that are going to be addressed during the Passport2Purity experience. Take us through what the material covers.
Dennis: Well, there are five overall sessions. Session One really talks about the whole adolescent experience that your child is about to enter in to. It gives an overview of the weekend and establishes the importance of your child having a guide
Young Girl: “Hey! It’s the man from the park—
Dennis: —that’s a parent.
Young Girl: “—the one who planted the clues.”
Dennis: —of having a map—(that’s the Bible)—and of having a compass—(that’s the person of Jesus Christ, Who is alive from the dead and He can be a compass to your children if they have a relationship with Him).
Young Boy: “So rather than wandering around, looking for clues, this time we’re prepared!”
Young Boy #2: “I have a map!”
Young Boy: “We’ll have a compass!”
Young Boy #3: “Hi guys! I came as fast as I could!”
Young Boy: “Thanks for meeting us here!”
Young Boy #2: “So we have a map and a compass. All we need is a guide!”
Young Boy: “Hint, hint!”
Young Boy #2: “Will you come with us?!”
Dennis: Session One, ultimately, helps your child step back and look at the years that they’re going to experience as an adolescent and say to them, “You know what? You’re going to need a source of authority as you go through these years. Your parents can be an authority. The Bible is an authority. Jesus Christ is the Authority.”
Bob: In fact, we’re going to introduce them to Colossians 1:18 as kind of a key verse for the weekend. That’s a Scripture that talks about Jesus Christ being preeminent.
And He is the head of the body, the Church.
He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead—
Oh, that in everything, in everything,
That He might be preeminent, preeminent!
In everything, in everything,
That He might be preeminent, preeminent!
Dennis: We’re just going to talk, repeatedly, throughout the five sessions about how Jesus Christ came to have first place in our lives. He came to help us handle some of these thorny issues that your son or daughter is going to face during their teenage journey.
Bob: Alright, that’s Session One. What’s Session Two?
Dennis: How to handle peer pressure. We’re talking about, really, the dangers of running with the herd.
[Sounds of cattle] “Well, it’s a whole herd, galloping out of control!”
Dennis: As a dad, I want to tell you that one of the most powerful influences in your child’s life is peers. Do not underestimate the power of peer pressure! Don’t relinquish your child to their peers—for them to be the main influence in their lives.
Barbara Rainey: “I remember very well when I was a teenager. I had a group of friends; and somehow or other, I decided that my group was not the popular group. You know, all of us know what group everybody else is in as teenagers”—
Bob: Now, in Session Three, you start to get into some of the changes that are ahead for children as they move into the teen years.
Dennis: Yes, this is a good-old “birds and bees” conversation that is based on the Scriptures. It talks about God’s design for sex, right out of the Bible. It talks about how their body is changing already or will begin to change in the coming months and years ahead.
Barbara Rainey: “You don’t look the same as you did when you were a baby—I don’t think. Your face doesn’t look the same. You’re not the same shape that you were when you were a baby. Why is that? Well, it’s because you’re not a baby anymore. You’re a big kid. The same thing is getting ready to happen to change you from a big kid into an adult.”
Dennis: What we do is—Barbara speaks directly to the young ladies and talks about what’s coming for them. I have a very heart-to-heart conversation with the guys. We split into two sessions at that point.
Dennis: “This is going to be a neat time! Man-to-man in this session, we’re going to talk about one of the most intimate issues you’ve ever discussed with your dad or your mom.”
Bob: When you get to Session Four, you start to unpack the whole issue of purity and helping a young man or a young woman understand what moral purity is all about in the area of sexuality.
[Not Your Own]
You are not your own.
You were bought with a price.
So glorify God—
Glorify God—in your body.
You are not your own.
Dennis: This is not just a call to virginity. It is a call to protect their sexual innocence. I just have to tell you, as a parent, that’s really needed today. As a parent, you are very important in your son or daughter’s life—not only to help prepare them to protect their innocence—but as they go through their teenage years, if they make mistakes, you can offer grace, and forgiveness, and understanding, and comfort, and encourage them along the way.
Bob: Session Five is all about dating and how to properly engage with members of the opposite sex.
Dennis: We’ll have a lot of fun on this one—talking about what is the definition of what a date is.
Game Show Host: “Justin, what is the purpose of dating?”
Game Show Contestant: “To have fun!?”
Game Show Host: “No, I’m sorry. What’s the purpose of kissing?”
Game Show Contestant: “Pass!”
Game Show Host: “What’s the purpose of a hug?”
Game Show Contestant: “Pass!!”
Game Show Host: “How old should you be before you go out on your first date?”
Game Show Contestant: “Pass!”
Game Show Host: “In a triangle, if angle one is 29 degrees, angle two is 40 degrees, what is angle three?”
Game Show Contestant: “Huh, 111!”
Game Show Host: “That’s correct! What’s the purpose of dating?”
Game Show Contestant: “Ummm.”
Game Show Host: [Video “Game over” sounds] “Oh, Justin, I’m sorry.”
Dennis: We’ll talk about you, as a parent, casting a vision for how you and your child can work together around issues related to dating. Then, we’re going to ask them—your child—to sign a “Wait to Date” contract. It really worked for us; and it just takes an issue, that will become an emotional issue later, and allows you to discuss it now, before the hormones hit.
Bob: You know, we should mention that there are projects that a parent and a child are going to do together as you go through these sessions. There are supplies you’re going to need for those projects. Our team has put together a project kit if you want to actually just order the supplies from us, along with the Passport2Purity kit. You can get the Project Kit as well.
All of the information about what’s available can be found online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Part of what we’re trying to do here is not just give you sessions for a son or a daughter to listen to—but these projects make the principles stick.
Dennis: This is the best of the best of 11 years of having taught these kids of what keeps their attention, holds their attention, and drives the point home.
Bob: You know, it was about a decade ago—I think a little more than a decade ago—when we had a conversation with a young woman—a 13-year-old. She had just gone through Passport to Purity with her mom. We got her on the phone and just asked her some questions about what that experience had been like.
Her name was Chelsea Smith. I thought it would be fun—we ought to play back the phone call that we had with Chelsea, back in 2001.
Dennis: Chelsea, tell me—out of everything that you did, what was your favorite part of the entire two days with your mom?
Chelsea: Well, I really liked spending time with her. We got to do shopping, which we both really love to do together. As far as the workbook and the program, we had a lot of fun doing the activities and filling out the workbook. That was a lot of fun.
Bob: Do you remember the cliff, Chelsea?
Bob: Where you get to decide how close to the edge you want to get?
[Audio Clipfrom Passport to Purity]
Female Voice: “If you were carrying my throne around Ambrose Cliff, where the path is narrow, how close to the edge would you go?”
Male Voice: “My Lady, it is as you say. I am very strong! I could carry you within one foot of the cliff!” [Applause]
Female Voice: “I see. Sir Jared”—
Second Male Voice: “My Queen.”
Bob: What do you remember about that?
Chelsea: I remember not wanting to be close to the edge—definitely!
[Audio clip from Passport2Purity]
Female Voice: “Sir Connor, what would you do?”
Second Male Voice: “Your Highness, were I granted the honor of carrying you on my shoulders, I would go nowhere near the edge of Ambrose Cliff.” [Sounds of awe from the crowd]
Female Voice: “Sir Connor the Wise, will you serve in my court?”
Second Male Voice: “It would be my honor!” [Applause]
Dennis: Chelsea, why did you move away from the edge of the cliff and closer to the mountain, which represents a little more distance away from boys—physically speaking? Why did you do that?
Chelsea: Well, I thought about—I was doing a little bit of thinking ahead. I was thinking about my future and how I wanted it all to play out. I was thinking about when I got married and if I wanted to have already done those things and not be able to share those for the first time with him—whoever that might be.
I was thinking that I didn’t really want to ruin that, and so I was kind of inching my way back. I felt that it was more safe and that that would be a better decision for my future.
Bob: Now, that was 2001. If I’m doing my math right, that means that Chelsea, who was 13 back then, is now 24 years old. In fact, we’ve tracked her down! She is on the phone with us. Chelsea, welcome to FamilyLife Today.
Chelsea: Hi. Thank you!
Bob: So, do you remember going through Passport to Purity?
Chelsea: Yes, a little bit of it I do.
Bob: Tell me what you remember about the experience with your mom, back when you were 13.
Chelsea: Well, mostly I remember that I got to spend time with my mom. Being the oldest of seven, I didn’t really get very much alone time with her. We did spend a weekend away. We went to a little bed and breakfast. We went shopping and we spent a good part of our weekend going through a booklet, and some songs, and a couple of actual exercises. I remember there was one where you had to put different things like soil and something else in a glass of water or something like that.
Chelsea: It symbolized purity.
Bob: That’s the dirty water illustration, yes! Way to go! I was just curious to see what sticks with you after 11 years.
Bob: Now, when you were 13, we talked to you about that cliff illustration in the book. You remembered that from the weekend—“How close to the edge of the cliff will you get?”
Bob: Back then, you said, “I’m staying as far away from the edge as I can!”
Chelsea: [Laughter] Yes, I’m probably in the same spot!
Bob: You’re still in the same spot? You haven’t changed your views?
Chelsea: No, not at all.
Bob: That’s encouraging! You hope that some of those seeds that get planted will blossom the way it’s blossomed in your life.
You said you’re working with the junior high kids at church; right?
Bob: So if you had a chance to talk to the parents, would you say a weekend away with your son or your daughter is a good thing?
Chelsea: [Laughter] I definitely would, yes. It clearly made an impact on me. I know it’s kind of hard—you know, everyone’s got busy schedules and all kinds of things going on; but we were able to do it, and I feel like it really was beneficial for me. It’s kind of cool just to know that that’s where I started and that’s where I made a decision. Through the grace of God, I was able to stick to that decision.
Bob: You know what we’re going to do? We’ll send you five of the brand-new Passport2Purity kits. You can take them to church—
Chelsea: Oh! Yes!
Bob: —pick five of the kids or their moms and dads and just say, “Here, you should do this with your son or your daughter!”
Chelsea: Oh, that would be awesome!
Bob: Stir it up there at Reality, Louisiana; okay?
Chelsea: Sure, I will do that.
Bob: That would be great. Chelsea, thank you so much for taking a little time to talk to us.
Bob: Way to go! You hang in there; you stay as far away from the edge of the cliff as you can!
Chelsea: [Laughter] I will. Thank you so much!
Bob: Thanks. Bless you! [Laughter] That’s kind of fun to have that conversation; isn’t it?
Dennis: It really is. You know, I was listening to her and I was thinking, “Just listen to what she kind of ticked off in terms of benefits: There was time together with her mom. There was talking with her mom—and I assume her dad afterwards—as she went through adolescence.”
Here’s the deal—and we actually say it during the weekend—if you can go through this with your son or daughter, you can talk about just about anything by the time you finish this.
Bob: That’s right!
Dennis: What impressed me was she was sticking to the commitments that she made as an 11- or 12 year-old. Now, she was 13; but the point is this—I don’t think we’re challenging young people with a high enough standard—a high enough commitment.
Dennis: They’re not all keeping this like Chelsea has, but a bunch of them are.
Finally, she talked about being a wise counselor to others. Now that’s what you want for your son or daughter, all the way through the teenage years. You want the other kids coming to them to find out how to handle this stuff.
Dennis: You don’t want your son or daughter going to their friends to figure out how to handle peer pressure and all of the issues coming at them.
Bob: So, with listeners who have got children who are 11, 12, 13—would you start as young as 9 or 10 with some kids?
Dennis: I might. I might! Depending on what area of the country you live in and the maturity of the child. There are going to be some kids that, if you don’t start then, you’re going to be playing defense at 12.
Bob: Yes. Decide what the right age is. For some of our listeners, this summer is the right time. Get a Passport2Purity kit and plan a weekend away. Get the Project Kit so you have everything you need for the projects.
Bob: Pick out your date and your location. Where do you want to go? Maybe it’s a bed and breakfast. Maybe you do like I did with my son, Jimmy—we went to see the Cardinals play baseball. Or do like I did with my son, David—we went to the go-cart track and drove go-carts around. Pick something fun that you can do with your son or your daughter and then have a Passport2Purity weekend.
You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, for more information about what comes with the Passport2Purity material. Along with the kit, there’s also the Project Kit that you can purchase so that you’ve got all you need for the projects. Or if you want to put your own project kit together, you can do that.
Again, all the information you need is available online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329. That’s 1-800-“F” as in family, “L” as in life, and then the word, “TODAY”. Get more information about Passport2Purity and plan to have one of these weekends, this summer, with your son or your daughter. Or if you know somebody who’s got a son or a daughter this age, recommend it to them. In fact, pass along the website to them—FamilyLifeToday.com –so they can get more information.
Let me say a quick word to those of you who help make FamilyLife Today possible through your financial support. We appreciate all you do to help us cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. During the month of May, we’ve had some friends of the ministry who have come to us and offered to match every donation that we receive on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $650,000—a very generous matching-gift fund.
These folks are excited about, not only Passport2Purity, but the new Stepping Up men’s video series that we’re putting together and the Stepping UpMen’s National Simulcast that’s coming up in August. They wanted to help support our efforts, and they wanted you to join with them. That’s the reason for the matching-gift fund. If you can help with a donation this month, your donation is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar. So if you give $25, they’ll give $25. Whatever you give gets doubled. Can we ask you to go online at FamilyLifeToday.com? Click the link that says, “I Care”, and make a donation this month; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.
We appreciate your support. We look forward to hearing from you.
We want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we’re going to talk about peer pressure. That’s one of the issues that young people face full-speed when they get to adolescence. We’re going to talk about what moms and dads can do to make sure their children are prepared. That comes up tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that.
I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.
FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.
Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.
Artist: Seeds Family Worship
Album: Purity (Seeds Youth) (p) 2012 Seeds Family Worship
©Song: Not Your Own
Artist: Seeds Family Worship
Album: Purity (Seeds Youth) (p) 2012 Seeds Family Worship
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