Season 2: Questions Every Husband Is Asking

Season 2 of Married With Benefits with host Brian Goins and our featured host, NY Times best-selling author and Harvard trained researcher, Shaunti Feldhahn.

Gathered from FamilyLife's Love Like You Mean It cruise, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn and Brian Goins answer a variety of questions from husbands--like, "Why does she ask for my opinion, then do her own thing?" "Why does she pick on my tone of voice?" "Why doesn't she say what she means?" View Show Notes →
Trying to figure out why your wife expects you to know what she's thinking? Brian, Shaunti, and guest Jim Mitchell explore how to uncover what's whirring beneath the surface in a way that makes your wife feel known--and significantly improve your relationship. View Show Notes →
Ever wonder if you're any good as a husband? Does conflict with your wife leave you feeling outwitted or inferior? Listen to Brian, Jen, and Shaunti dive into the validating differences between men and women. View Show Notes →
If you don't know how to handle your wife's tears, you're in good company. You're not the only husband who's paralyzed by his wife's emotions. But what if you saw them as a way to understand her better? Listen to the insights Brian, Jen, and Shaunti offer! View Show Notes →
Don't turn off that Hallmark movie after only 30 seconds just because you can already guess the plot. Keep watching! You may uncover some valuable clues to the core desires of your wife's heart. Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn explain. View Show Notes →
Does it feel like decisions are never final with your wife? How can you get past the taaaaaaaalking and finally "lock in" an answer? Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn provide answers. View Show Notes →
Is there hope for a marriage where trust has been broken through sexual sin (pornography, affairs)? Dr. Michael Sytsma joins the podcast to explain practical steps couples can take to rebuild trust and reconnect to the God of hope. View Show Notes →
As crazy as it sounds, trust can be broken within a marriage and the husband not even realize it. Brian Goins, Shaunti Feldhahn, and Ann Wilson offer hope and wise counsel for couples needing to restore trust. View Show Notes →
Why does your wife ask deep questions just as you're falling to sleep at night? Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn reveal a simple truth about your wife and 3 steps you can take to navigate this late-night impasse. View Show Notes →
Husbands, do you get tired head in conversations with your wife as she circles the airport but never lands the plane? Understand the brain science behind these exchanges, and gain wisdom on why it's an easy win as a husband. View Show Notes →
Your wife can't really be attracted to your "dad bod" right? Shaunti Feldhahn explains why a simple trip to the doctor is probably way more attractive to her than another tip to the gym. View Show Notes →
In episode 2.1 you heard the top 5 "rookie mistakes" of husbands who want more sex with their wives. Now learn from host Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn your top 5 "all-star moves." You got this! View Show Notes →
Did you listen to episode 2 and think, "Just shoot straight on this and tell me your best tipes for getting more sex with my wife?" Here's a quick-hit list of the top 5 rookie mistakes you may be making -- Come on man! View Show Notes →
Virtually every husband wonders why sex with his wife feels more complex and frustrating than it should. Why can't she just focus on it more? Host Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn, along with Dr. Juli Slattery, provide answers. View Show Notes →
Many wives struggle to believe that their own husbands can see them as beautiful. Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn explain these feelings of inadequacy, and show how a husband can overcome them in love. View Show Notes →

Meet Series Guests

Brian Goins

Brian and his wife Jen love building into families and eating great food together. They have three children who all want to move to Montana. Brian serves as Sr. Director Special Projects at FamilyLife. He is also the executive producer on an adolescent-focused documentary series called Brain, Heart, World (brainheartworld.org) aimed at helping change the conversation about pornography in our country and has written Playing Hurt: A Guy’s Strategy for a Winning Marriage. 

Jeff Feldhahn

Jeff Feldhahn is an attorney by training and an entrepreneur by inclination. He received his law degree from Harvard and has worked at law firms in New York and Atlanta specializing in corporate law and nonprofit organizations.

Jeff is the president and CEO of World2one, a tech company that he helped found in 1999. He is also a founding partner at FSB Legal Services, a unique partnership of high-skill, independent, entrepreneurial attorneys who enjoy the challenge of working as a “virtual law firm” for major corporate clients.

Jeff and and his wife, Shaunti, are active leaders in their church, and lead a small group for married couples. They make their home in Atlanta with their two young children.

Shaunti Feldhahn

Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author and popular speaker. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, have sold more than 3 million copies in 25 languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers and corporations worldwide.

In 2020, Shaunti, together with her husband Jeff Feldhahn, released Thriving in Love & Money. Little did they know just how timely this book would be as the world suddenly changed and couples needed to be able to talk about money more than ever. While most money books deal with surface issues of budgeting and debt, many couples struggle to even talk about money and it creates tension and a barrier to true oneness in their relationship. This is the money book that’s not about the money. It uncovers the issues that cause money conflicts and provide couples with truths that are relationship game-changers. Because you need a better relationship, not just a better budget. Find out more at thriveinloveandmoney.com.

Her book, The Kindness Challenge, continues to catalyze a much-needed movement of kindness across the country and beyond. Dozens of prominent organizations and leaders are coming together to do The 30-Day Kindness Challenge, and encourage their followers to do the same.

Shaunti’s findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show and Focus on the Family, The New York Times and Cosmo. She (often with her husband, Jeff) speak at both live and on-line events in the U.S. and around the world. Shaunti and her husband Jeff live in Atlanta with their daughter and son, and two cats who think they are dogs.

Brian and Jen Goins

Brian and Jen speak for FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember® marriage getaways and he serves as VP of Content Development at FamilyLife. Brian wrote Playing Hurt: A Guy's Strategy for a Winning Marriage because he figured other guys might like his sports analogies. Jen has a passion to help parents reclaim the family dinner table. They enjoy their kids, hiking mountains in Montana, and cheering their beloved Tarheels.

Michael Sytsma

Michael is a pastor at heart with a clear gift in teaching. He is passionate about marriage and helping couples grow in their marriage. This passion is clearly evident as he engages a room full of couples in looking at their marriage with hope and increased confidence. His giftedness in teaching helps couples learn important truths about marriage in a fun and interesting way.

As a therapist, Michael is a compassionate pastor who is not afraid to encourage you to grow. He believes God gives each of us the strength we need to become all He desires us to become and to grow our marriage into the intimate union God designed. His workshops and seminars have touched many couples in the Southeast. He is a regular speaker at national AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors) and CAPS (Christian Association for Psychological Studies) conferences and to other Pastors, counselors and therapists to the Christian community.

Michael has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Georgia, a Certified Sex Therapist, and a Certified Sexual Addictions Specialist (Trainer level). He is also an ordained minister with The Wesleyan Church and has served as a staff pastor for churches with attendance from 30 to over 1000. He is currently appointed to Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. by The Wesleyan Church. Michael received his BS in Christian Ministry from Indiana Wesleyan University, an MS in Community Counseling from Georgia State University, and a diploma in Christian counseling from Psychological Studies Institute. Michael also has a Ph.D. from the University of Georgia in Child and Family Development / Marriage and Family Therapy where he specialized in marital sexual therapy. His dissertation was on “Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Married Couples”. Michael has recently joined with 3 Christian sex therapists in founding Sexual Wholeness, Inc.

Michael and Karen have been married since 1985 and have two sons, Josiah and Caleb.

Ann Wilson

Ann Wilson and her husband Dave are hosts of FamilyLife Today®, FamilyLife’s nationally-syndicated radio program.

Mother to three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody and wife to one, occasionally grown-up husband, Dave, Ann balances a home life and professional ministry career building both on the grace and goodness of Jesus Christ.

Frequently speaking at Kensington Church, a 6-campus church that welcomes more than 14,000 visitors every weekend, and touring across the country at marriage and family conferences have made her and Dave a nationally-known couple when it comes to infusing relationships with the Word and wisdom of God. Her experience and awards have made Ann a sought after speaker at couples and women’s event for the last 30+ years.

Juli Slattery

Dr. Juli Slattery is a widely known clinical psychologist, author, speaker and broadcast media professional. She's the president and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy. She hosts a podcast called Java With Juli, where she answers tough questions about relationships, marriage, spiritual, emotional and sexual intimacy. She has authored eight books, including 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy; Sex and the Single Girl; Pulling Back the Shades (coauthored with Dannah Gresh); Surprised by the Healer and Passion Pursuit (both coauthored with Linda Dillow); and Finding the Hero In Your Husband. She and her husband, Mike, have been married since 1994, have three sons, and live in Colorado Springs.